Preparing for Marriage

 It feels like my whole life I have been preparing for marriage. For instance when you are a child you learn to share and get along with others even when you do get annoyed. Fast forward to your teen years when you start to go on dates you learn how to treat your significant other, how to act in arguments, and learn how to get to know someone on a deeper level. Now as I am in my twenties I am preparing by becoming my best self. I am saving up in order to live and sustain another person. My mom always taught me to be grateful for the work that she and my dad do. In the article, Hanging Out, Hooking up, and Celestial Marriage, by Bruce A. Chadwick he mentions, “my third suggestion is to exercise faith and to have courage in dating and marriage.” Reading this brought me back to my mission and learning how to effectively teach others to help them gain an understanding of our church and living with a companion who is from different backgrounds and upbringings than I was. This prepared me for marriage by having patience with my future spouse and allows me to discuss issues we may have and explain my reasonings with her in a way that isn’t argumentative but instead explaining my feelings towards a matter. My fiance and I like to read scriptures together since my bishop had recommended it to us back early on in our relationship. Through doing this, I feel like we have grown so much as a couple and invited the Lord into our relationship. This has brought me peace and also it allowed us to open up about our testimonies of our personal relationship with our heavenly father as well as how we can invite him on a daily basis to our lives together. In the article, “Four Bad Ideas that Make Latter-day Saint Dating Stressful”, By Maurine Proctor. States how the culture for young Latter-day Saint singles who are dating someone once, they are considering them as a spouse. If they go out twice, they are probably a couple. Three times they are practically engaged. This idea puts so much weight on dating, that people avoid it all together, until they find a person that they think might work for them. Dating should be for fun, for the social camaraderie, for the chance to meet new people and share an experience and just have fun. I have been caught in this culture or way of thinking in the church. I went on one date soon as I turned sixteen, which is the recommended age for dating in the church, I went on a date with a girl my age and I had that mindset she could be my wife. The second date we were a couple and by the third date we were basically engaged and planned to get married after my mission. I didn’t date any other girl for the next two years of Highschool. As soon as I left for my two year mission she dumped me. When I came back from my mission I dated around and used dating for the social camaraderie, for the chance to meet new people and share experiences and just have fun. I was able to make real connections and meet many more people and understand more what a healthy and loving relationship was. I was able to meet my now fiance without forcing those cultures in the church in the beggening and make it a great and enjoyable experience and know that I love her and can spend the rest of my life with her.

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