Transitions in Marriage

Transitioning to marriage scares me and excites me. I can’t wait to be with the love of my life and be able to be with them. To be able to see them right when I close my eyes at night and be the first person I see when I open them in the morning. The thing I am fearful of is not being able to support this woman that I love so much. Not providing the life that she deserves. I know that doesn’t matter to her as much as it means to me, but it still is always on my mind. One of the many things that I will have to adjust to, is leaning on someone when it comes to major decisions in my life. I realize that the decisions I make now will not only affect me but her as well. Something we learned in class that is often repeated is, women expect marriage to change everything and men expect nothing to change in the relationship. I have never heard such a true statement. I don’t imagine much changing in our relationship besides us living together. After talking to my fiancé about that statement in class she did believe a lot was going to class. It was very interesting to discuss our views on what’s really going to change after we get married. It was very beneficial to discuss and be able to grow together. They say the first year of marriage is the hardest, and a lot of times, they’re right. I’ve talked to my friends and family who have been married for a long time, and they’ve all said if I survive the first-year things will get easier. They tell me it might feel like marriage shouldn’t be a huge change, but often something shifts. You’ve made a massive commitment, you’ve probably spent a lot of money, and you’re dealing with a post-wedding comedown. After hearing this I took time to prepare myself for how hard things might get. I know things will be hard, but I couldn’t think of anyone better to help and support me through this hard time than my fiancé. President Kimball observed with his marriage and others was, “We need an unspoiled companion who will not count our wrinkles, remember our stupidities nor remember our weaknesses; … we need a loving companion with whom we have suffered and wept and prayed and worshipped; one with whom we have suffered sorrow and disappointments, one who loves us for what we are or intend to be rather than what we appear to be in our gilded shell.” When I read this, I think of my loving fiancé. I know having patience with one another is huge. That first year will be us trying to figure out each other and how we like to do things. It will be very important to have patience with each other us during this time. To also talk things out, instead of bottling up our feelings. I know that is hard for me. I’ve never been the best at communicating my feelings with others. I have been working on this weakness that I have to better my future marriage with my fiancé. I know family relations are going to change. Her family lives in Texas and my family lives in Idaho. Holidays are getting tricky for us now and we aren’t even married yet. Trying to figure out where we are going for the holidays. But I know if we have patience for one another and talk things through we will be ok and I see it as perfect practice for the future.