Selecting a Life Partner

 Selecting a life partner has been a big stressor for many people in the world. I hear of all these checkboxes my friends have for this special someone to come by and check them all off. When I hear these long checklists it makes me think that this perfect person doesn't exist, and if they did she/he wouldn't be interested in them. I think my friends are great and wonderful people, but the idea of this perfect person will come into their life and sweep them off their feet and will get married soon after probably won't happen. I've never been too stressed out by finding a life partner until my girlfriend mentioned marriage to me. I never gave it any thought until that moment. She just wanted to know my thoughts on the matter. I started to think of my own checklist and what I wanted in my forever life partner. Some attributes that come to mind include intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, attractiveness, and reliability. Faith also comes to mind, does she have a relationship with God. No matter what we think we’re looking for in a partner, the people we wind up choosing don’t necessarily match our criteria for an ideal companion. The reason for this is very simple; we don’t always want what we say we want, or what we want is what we need. In my case at the time I didn’t know what I needed in a spouse. I knew what I wanted in a life partner, but not much more than that. In Lauer & Lauer it has section labeled, “Is There A Best Way To Select A Life Partner?”. It talks about cohabitation and doing a trial run to see if the relationship improves. It then talks about arrange marriages. Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are primarily selected by individuals other than the couple themselves, particularly by family members such as the parents. In some cultures a professional matchmaker may be used to find a spouse for a young person. According to some research conducted in India, couples in arranged marriages have more extended periods of being in love than partners who choose their own mates. I won’t be able to do a trial run of cohabitation, because my faith restricts that. I also don’t think I would have enjoyed someone else picking the person I will spend the rest of my life with. After reading that I can do my own trial per say. I told her I needed more time and wanted to get to know each other more on a deeper level. I spent that time to get each other more. I asked her more personal questions such as families and how she wants to raise her children or even if she even wanted children. Having kids is very important to me. Because in my faith we believe, when a child is born to a husband and wife, they are fulfilling part of our Heavenly Father’s plan to bring children to earth. Families are central to our Heavenly Father’s plan here on earth and through the eternities. I have been truly blessed to have that time with my girlfriend, who is now my fiance, because I was able to check off everything on my list and on her list to be able to feel comfortable with our decision. It took us a year to make this decision and I know it’s different for everybody, but usually good things take time. I love my fiance very much and I am excited to see how we face the world together.