Views on Marriage

In our class, the topic of marriage is what interests me the most. Understanding the certain views The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has on the matter. To also understand the culture within the Church. I wanted to compare that view and culture to the views of others outside my faith. For example, those in my faith are most likely to get married in their early twenties, while the average age in the United States for women is 28 years old. For men, it was 30 years old. This scared me when I first saw this large gap between ages. I'm personally very close to getting married and I've gotten many mixed feelings on the topic. I'm 21 years old, so many people tell me I'm way too young to be getting married and that I have my whole life to be married. They also tell me to at least finish school before I get married or to save more money. Honestly, I agree with those people to a point, that says to finish school and save money. It seems like a very smart and responsible thing to do that can set me up in the future. My answer to why I want to get married at my age is because I'm in love with that person. In "Marriage and Family in America- Needs, Myths, and Dreams", talks about love as a complex emotion. It goes on to say, love can be more often a different emotion such as a strong sex drive, fear, or hunger for approval. Lederer and Jackson go on to say, "We are driven by "ecstatic paralysis" to mate with someone and reproduce ourselves." When I was reading this I felt kind of sick, this wasn't what the definition of love was to me. I felt this was a cold and cruel way to explain love. Explaining love as if it doesn't actually exist and it is only a way to fill basic needs for a person. It was very selfish and not how I would define love. I would define love as wanting to spend every second with that significant other and being willing to make sacrifices for them because you want them to be happy. At the same time, I can see how Lederer and Jackson did write about love the way they did because there are times that is true. I’m not saying those who do get married under their definition of love won’t have a happy marriage and I'm not saying those who get married with my definition of love will have a happy marriage or have a “happily ever after”. I don’t know if there will be a benefit to waiting. In my faith we believe in personal modern-day revelation, meaning we believe God answers prayer. I don’t take marriage lightly and know that challenges will come with marriage, in all marriages I believe everyone will be faced with their own challenges. So I prayed to God and asked Him if I should wait. I received a very clear answer that I wasn’t rushing into things. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little more than a year now and I’ve just recently asked her father for permission. He said, “Yes!”. I am very excited and also hoping she won’t see this blog before I ask her. I still am extremely nervous. Outside sources still affect my thinking and cause fear to run through my mind such as 50 percent of marriages end in divorce in the United States. I will do everything in my power to make sure I’m not going to be part of that percentage.


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