Communication

 In relationships, communication allows us to explain to someone else what we are experiencing and what our needs are. The act of communicating not only helps us to meet our needs but also helps us to be connected in our relationships. Talking to each other, no matter how well you know and love each other, you cannot read your partner’s mind. We need to communicate clearly to avoid misunderstandings that may cause hurt, anger, resentment, or confusion. Good communication is an important part of all relationships and is an essential part of any healthy partnership. All relationships have ups and downs, but a healthy communication style can make it easier to deal with conflict and build a stronger and healthier partnership. Effects of bad communication in relationships can cause escalated conflict, a negative perspective of your partner, feeling unseen or unknown, loneliness, lack of intimacy, difficulty setting and reaching goals, and even turning away from each other and seeking help outside of the relationship such as friends or parents. These effects of bad communication usually lead to divorce if they continue to follow this trend of bad communication. There are methods to better improve communication such as the “Five Secrets of Effective Communication (EAR)”. It begins with the Disarming Technique, which is to find some truth in what the other person is saying, even if it seems totally unreasonable or unfair. This will show them that you are listening and you do care, and most of the time it causes the other person to also do the same. The next step is empathy, putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and trying to see the world through his or her eyes. Inquiry is next, where you ask gently probing questions to learn more about what the other person is thinking and feeling. Assertiveness comes after empathy. In assertiveness, we use the “I Feel” statement,  where we express our own ideas and feelings in a direct, tactful manner. Respect is the final step in (EAR). In respect, the fith secret of effective communication is stroking. Stroking is when we convey an attitude of respect, even if we feel frustrated or angry with the other person. This is just one method of many that are available, but if we follow these five secrets we can overcome bad communication in a relationship. I’ve actually used this in my own relationship and it's helped us get through trials or disagreements in our relationship. 

It takes two people to have a relationship and each person has different communication needs and styles. Couples need to find a way of communicating that suits their relationship. Healthy communication styles require practice and hard work. Communication will never be perfect all the time. Understand the roles of tone and non-verbal communication in relationship communication. When we communicate, we can say a lot without speaking. Our body posture, tone of voice, and the expressions on our faces all convey a message. These non-verbal means of communicating can tell the other person how we feel about them. We can say one thing, but the tone of our voice might suggest something else. For non-verbal we need to be careful. I know for myself I don’t think of the face I’m making when I’m discussing something with someone. It’s a natural thing to show emotion, but at times it can be rude or taken offensive when talking to someone. Talk to each other. No matter how well you know and love each other, you cannot read your partner’s mind. We need to communicate clearly to avoid misunderstandings that may cause hurt, anger, resentment, or confusion.