Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

 In class, we discussed what healthy sexuality looks like. Many husbands and wives struggle to understand what healthy sexuality really is. To be honest, I had no idea there was healthy and unhealthy sexuality in a marriage. I just thought sex was sex. I thought sex was an act of love and couldn’t be taken negatively or unhealthy in a marriage. But there are many unhealthy characteristics and most are related primarily to pornography or addiction. People who have seen these unrealistic bodies and seeing these people be purely performance-based, focused on performance, climax, and perfection focused. Instead of connection-based such as focusing on the person and making intimate connection. Can cause a lot of wrong expectations of what his wife might want. These are some things I’ve never worried about. I’ve always just worried about not doing theses things before marriage. In my faith, we believe in the law of chastity. The law of chastity requires that sexual relations be reserved for marriage between a man and a woman. So I’ve never thought about how I was going to do it so both people feel safe and loved. I’ve only thought not to do it before marriage no matter the temptation. I’m not upset with growing up being taught the Law of Chasity because I know our Heavenly Father has given us the law of chastity for our protection. Following this law can lead to personal peace, the strength of character, and to happiness. Those who keep themselves sexually pure will avoid the spiritual and emotional damage that always comes from sharing physical intimacies with someone outside of marriage. But learning this in class and warning us that these problems can occur in a marriage can be very beneficial to know. We also talked about in class how women can feel like sex is one-sided in their marriages. That the men just seem to want an orgasm and not care for them. That is very sad, sex should be about both people getting pleasured, not one person serving another’s needs. A lot of the time we need to be honest and open to solve these problems. If you are transparent and put yourself in their position they can talk it out and usually come to a solution. Sex can bring us together with our partners in explosive ways. It can also make us horribly insecure, and it can destroy our relationships and alienate us from our partners. Sex is a beautiful and powerful way to spice up our relationships and bond on a deeply intimate level. It can also be a tool, however, that is used to manipulate and control us. Physical intimacy of this nature can be a double-edged sword, so it’s up to us to understand our sexual patterns and correct them accordingly. The way we bond through sex says a lot about us on a personal level. When we overcome our fear and our hangups, we become better partners.

In class, we also learned there are four types of affairs. There's a Fantasy affair which is by having an emotional affair with someone who has no knowledge about what is taking place, or with someone who is anonymous and would likely never be met. There's also Visual/pornography affair, Romatic affair ( becoming emotionally involved with a specific person other than his or her spouse), and Sexual affair. In contrast to the Romantic Affair, a Sexual Affair occurs when a person engages in sexual acts outside the bonds of marriage with or without emotional attachment. All of these can cause devastation in a relationship and need to be avoided. I am very happy to have been able to learn these concepts so I can avoid them at all costs.